


My heart thrown open wide

by AmyriadfthINGs



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Boys In Love, Canon Compliant, Davenzi road trip 2019, Feels, Fluff, Hitchhiking, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Non-Explicit Sex, POV David, Road Trips, Sexual Content, Summer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-07-19 04:03:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19967731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyriadfthINGs/pseuds/AmyriadfthINGs
Summary: A summer adventure. Their adventure.Or: Matteo and David traipsing around Europe for over a month.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Unless I change it later, I´m now apparently someone who takes their titles from [song lyrics](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oC7er_6dpsI) . You just never know.  
> Thank you for your precious beta services, [amoama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amoama%20rel=) \-- all futzing and fucking up I do after IS ON ME.
> 
> This is completely self-indulgent. I just needed to explore this gift canon gave us.

Finally someone´s stopped, and they´re in a car going west. Western Germany for now, but hopefully on their way to Amsterdam and south from there soon enough, with a rough route planned out, but with lots of wiggle room, too, and a schedule that only has one question mark on it: Jonas´ birthday at the end of July. 

David is riding in the front, his backpack jammed between his legs. Matteo has rolled down the window behind him. The driver, a guy in his twenties named Tom has put on an indy playlist, rather guitar-heavy, and seems pretty chill from the few words they´ve exchanged. 

David is letting his gaze wander over the fields; lets it stretch all the way to the horizon. It feels good to be out of the city, starting this adventure. 

They´ve cleared the woods and when he turns to the side the sun is fully hitting his face and also his arm where it rests on the open window. The road ahead has the dry dusty look of summer, but the fields on either side are still green, and the season feels young and fresh, like it´s on the cusp of something. He feels it in his stomach. 

Summer is also more real out here somehow, so much more real than in the city at least, with nature opening up around them and all of the warmth floating purely in the air and sunshine, not radiating off the asphalt or concrete nearby, always boxing them in. He´s closing his eyes against the hot wind, taking a deep breath, smelling everything. They´re really doing this. They´re on their way. 

A flashback to cracked cool blue pool tiles enters David´s mind out of nowhere. 

It throws him back to an endlessly cold dark winter not too long ago that he spent in a hostile, lonely city. To a forked road that seemed like a dead end. To conflicting, unnerving, larger-than-life feelings, that intricately entangled with intermittent wonderful pangs whenever he saw Matteo, all of which made it impossible to see a clear path forward. (He can feel those pangs now, stabbing into his chest, clawing up his throat. They still make him breathless, in the best way.) 

The image of the pool takes him back to desperately not knowing whether he should run away or open up. To that relentlessly pushing and pulling wave that was tossing him this way and that, sweeping him along until he didn´t know what was up and down anymore. To the final catastrophe, darkness and flight. 

The pictures melt away in a moment, and David exhales quietly. He can´t even be sure the present and all its exciting unknown roads ahead really come from that place at all. 

He sighs and gives in, pulling himself back to the present, and accepts it for now in all its unlikeliness. He leans against the headrest and turns his face back into the sun. 

A moment later he feels slightly sticky fingertips at his neck, administering the tiniest, gentlest, most careful strokes. He smiles with his face still turned sideways and his eyes closed, so that Matteo could see his reaction if he´s looking at him. They´re really on their way. They´re going to do this.


	2. Chapter 2

They stop at a gas station somewhere along the way and when David returns from the restroom, Matteo is waiting by the car with an armful of snack food. David makes no effort to hide his amusement. He raises his eyebrows and gestures to the car door. “Do you need help with that?” Matteo shoots him a look that´s all faux daggers. “Careful, or you´re not getting anything,” he threatens David. “Oh, did you get something for me, too, is that right, hm?” David can´t stop teasing him. He also can´t stop grinning. Matteo imitates David cocking his head, but somehow does it with his whole body, and David has to kiss him real quick. 

He manages to open the door at Matteo´s back while still kissing him, and Matteo collapses into the seat, candy in his arms. He unceremoniously dumps his haul next to him and snatches David´s shirt by the hem, twisting it with his fingers. “Join me back here, will ya? You´re too far away in the front,” he pleads. Matteo´s eyes are as soft as his voice, and David knows there´s nothing he can do. He could try to put up a front, sure, but he doesn´t actually want to.

“Okay, you,” he gives in. David´s so soft for Matteo. He´s still getting used to that side of himself. He didn´t know someone could affect him that way, or how completely it would wrap him up, and that he could feel like this all the time for another person, and that´s a whole other aspect to this relationship thing he´s finding interesting, to say the least. Who even is this David?

Tom has returned from fueling up and getting his own sustenance and is ready to go on. 

“I´m...” David gestures to the back and Tom just nods and grins “Sure.”


	3. Chapter 3

Tom drops them off not too far from the border, at the edge of his small hometown near Osnabrück. He offered to drop them off at a gas station or rest stop while they were still on the autobahn, but they declined. A smaller road for proper road trip feeling was what they wanted for a change, even at the chance of not making it much further today. They brought sleeping bags after all and were ready for adventure. 

“Well,” Tom shrugged at that, “have it your way. Oh, to be young and in love.” 

Now he winks at them after they said their goodbyes and points them in the direction of an Aldi, so they can stock up on food for a third of autobahn gas station prices. 

Then he´s off, wishing them good luck with a last wave through the window, notes of the song that´s playing floating in place for a moment longer before it´s pulled away with him and replaced with dust and exhaust. 

Matteo turns to David and grins, blinking against the sun, hair sticking up from when he fell asleep on David´s shoulder for about half an hour. 

Seems like the sun´s been shining on them all day. 

“What are you grinning at?” David stands in front of his boyfriend and grabs him by the straps of his backpack, giving him a little shake. Then he thinks better of it and grabs Matteo´s face for a kiss. After all, they´re finally alone again for the first time in hours. Even if Tom was a total sweetheart, he was also a complete stranger, and most importantly just another human being they were around all day. 

A second and a third kiss follow here on the side of the road so far away from home, each lasting longer than the one before as they settle back into each other. 

When they part Matteo huffs out one of his soft, easily missable laughs. Well, easily missable to an outsider who wouldn´t have any business noticing them anyway, because they´re only meant for David. They tend to happen when they´re already skin on skin, so David usually feels them even if he misses the sound at first. It´s one of his secret favorite things. 

He smiles against Matteo´s lips and abruptly turns around facing the road. “First car down, here we go. Turning back is for losers.” 

Matteo fishes a crumpled and probably melted candy bar out of his pocket, opens it, takes a bite, and sighs with pleasure. He holds out his free hand. David takes it, still smiling, a loose feeling to his shoulders, and a few happy butterflies stirring in his belly. They start strolling down the road at a leisurely pace as the light grows softer around them, gently bumping into each other from time to time, and only trying to trip each other up once or twice.


	4. Chapter 4

The first whiff of adventure is short-lived. Two girls not much older than them stop their little green car next to them, passenger door slightly dented, plastic flower necklace dangling over the rearview mirror. “Hey, want a ride?” The curly-haired girl on the passenger side asks them, hanging out the window, face open, friendly and freckled. 

David had tied their ´Amsterdamm´ sign to his backpack, so he thinks they must have read it when they approached them. “Klar! Danke!” They split up and hop in. 

Curly-haired girl introduces herself as Annette. The one who´s driving is Isabelle. They´re starting a week-long vacation at the Dutch seaside “just them” to celebrate 15 years of friendship “since our first day of kindergarten. Do you remember? You cried when I stole your Fruchtzwerg.” Annette pokes Isabelle in the side, who squeaks and admonishes her for being a driving risk. But she also smiles at her full of tenderness. 

David and Matteo exchange a look and soon enough are asked to share their story. 

They were still holding hands when the girls drove up to them, and Annette´s first question is how long they´ve been together. 

David finds he actually doesn´t mind talking about it, or being asked questions. 

It´s funny, he thinks, that these random girls are now the first people to ask them about their relationship. (The first of how many, David wonders, and gets lost in his head for a bit as he imagines future Matteo and David answering questions of how they met, and wonders if he´ll ever think back to this trip, and this particular car, and this backseat, on this summer day in 2019 when they were asked for the first time.) 

Tom didn´t really ask them much personal stuff -- he was happy to make random small talk about where they were going, and if they planned on hitchhiking for their whole trip, and how much fun his new band was.

They´re only sharing a superficial version of events with Annette and Isabelle, leaving out most of the darkness, angst and drama. 

David´s forced outing at school becomes unspecific. He deliberately ties it to Matteo´s outing as they take turns telling the story. Matteo only looks at him silently with some of the pain of that moment speaking out of his eyes. Speaking directly to David, quiet and unflinching, as if he can´t help or hide it, as if he´s feeling it again right now. He puts a hand on David´s leg, palm up and David squeezes it quickly. Matteo leaves his hand by his leg for the remainder of the story. David sometimes moves his leg to touch it lightly, as if by accident, and always finds Matteo pressing back firmly.

Those hellish weeks before it even came to that fateful day at school, when David kept running away and doubted everything including himself, while Matteo was left confused and struggling with his own issues turn into “a bit of a rocky road” as they tell it, with only a few mumbled examples. (Annette asks them to repeat and elaborate sometimes and tries to bribe them with candy, mostly without success.) 

He and Matteo share some meaningful glances in those moments when they leave out whole chunks of their story and probably both relive their sides of events each in their own head. David does, at least. 

And he´s pretty sure Matteo does, too. (When they look at each other during some of those unsaid bits it makes David´s skin glow warm and he thinks there must be a heap of glimmering coals in his belly, radiating heat and calming down the excited butterflies from earlier.) 

He also becomes suddenly very aware of how they still haven´t talked about some of the things they leave out for the girls. And some stuff Matteo mentions in passing gives David pause and he has to look at him, search his face for... more. Anything. Maybe on this trip they´ll get a chance to revisit those weeks they spent apart. Maybe they should. Maybe it could even be good.

Isabelle´s smart eyes find him from time to time in the mirror. “But you found each other in the end,” she says finally, glancing over at Annette, who sits sideways in her seat, opening different bags of candy and gummies for them to snack on while they talk.

David hums at that, even though there would be so many more words he could say. 

However did they find each other in the end? 

Matteo certainly found him. David looks over at him and smiles a small smile, can´t help but reach for Matteo´s hand, interlocking their fingers and squeezing lightly. Matteo´s mouth pulls slightly upwards and his eyes wander from David´s eyes to his lips and back again, as if he too is thinking about their reunion at the pool. 

“Yep.” Matteo simply confirms, eyes glazing over. 

Annette looks from Matteo to David. “So, this is your very first trip together!” She exclaims excitedly, waving strings of liquorice between them. 

David thinks they must look pretty stupid in love as they sit there holding hands and trying to hide their smiles, because Annette goes “Awww” and clutches the liquorice to her heart. 

Matteo grabs one of the strings from her and breaks the moment. David snorts and tries to steal the liquorice from Matteo. “Get your own!” Matteo knocks his hand against the roof of the car in an attempt to keep it out of reach. David glares at him, and accepts Annette´s liquorice she offers him with a smirk.

“I ship it,” she says, nodding, and starts chewing on three strings at once.


	5. Amsterdam and the Question of Pride

The girls leave them on the outskirts of the city, so they can make their leisurely way around it on their way to the sea. David thinks it´s awfully nice of them to get them so close they can hop on public transport. They hugged both of them goodbye and even exchanged numbers. A few hours later Annette sends them a photo of Isabelle laughing brightly into the camera with the sea in the background.

Amsterdam is fun for a few days. It´s the first time visiting for both of them. They don´t want to stay too long, because it´s another city after all, but they do enjoy roaming around aimlessly, hanging out at cafés and by the canals, exploring, goofing off and just being together in a place that doesn´t speak their language. It makes them feel adventurous and like they´re far away, but also thrown closer together somehow and possibly a bit more grown-up. 

Like, they´re in a foreign country together, as a couple, just them, and it´s new and big and exciting. But it´s also easy, because it´s still them, and only becomes a bit scary when you stop to think about it, about the big deal of it all, especially in the quieter moments when life calms down around them, or when mundane things like taking a shower or brushing your teeth at the hostel remind them of reality that´s still happening despite their big trip.

(And then they´d smile at each other walking down the hallway to their room, or Matteo would come back from the showers cackling like an 8-year old with a handful of foam he puts down David´s shirt, and they´d collapse onto the bed in giggles, and people around them would shake their heads and laugh at them, or roll their eyes and encourage David to take revenge. Which he´d do. And with that the brief spell of boring reality would be broken and everything feels like a dream again, and it feels like it could go on like this forever.) 

The hostel they stay at is noisy and bustling at all times of the day, but they willingly share a room with a changing number of strangers for a couple nights in exchange for a few fun and carefree days in what´s probably the last or only big city of their trip. 

David wants to see a few things while they´re there, he´s happy looking at buildings, art, markets, and when Matteo goes to find them food he often returns to David sketching or setting up a photo or scribbling down a few notes. He´d look up at Matteo with a smile, almost shy, as if he´d been caught with a secret, or as if he needed to explain himself. 

He´s still getting used to having Matteo around when he´s creating art, not accustomed to being observed while he´s taking in his surroundings this way, his very own personal way.

Matteo on his part would stop in his tracks at the sight of David, nodding at him as if inviting him to share what he´s doing, greeting him with a friendly “Na” like they´re casual friends that haven´t seen each other in days instead of boyfriends. 

He´d grin at him easily and plop down next to him. Then he would offer him the food he bought, but jokingly retract the offer, only to cave immediately at David´s pout or glare. 

Or maybe Matteo would go through with it and ask for favors in return for the food.

It´s possible they start wrestling at some point, and David would complain half-heartedly that Matteo is risking his latest project, and he´d hold his notebook in the air to show him a new stain and simultaneously keep it out of danger aka Matteo´s reach, and Matteo would reply that as an artist David would just have to work with it, treat the smudge as part of a collage. (David would raise an eyebrow at Matteo and not be able to stop the corners of his mouth going up, even though he tries really hard.)

But then Matteo would eventually stop and help David clean up, and maybe even mumble an “okay, sorry” about the stain. And David would bump his shoulder, take a bite of whatever food Matteo brought them and say he kinda knew what he was getting into, which would be a lie, sort of, but also irrelevant, and he´d suggest Matteo could buy his next sketchbook, but that he, David, would get to select it.

“Okay, that´s fair.” Matteo would rub his nose and grin at David then and continue eating with gusto. 

If he didn´t actually apologize for messing up David´s drawing, however, David would definitely take revenge, but then they´d probably end up tangled up in one another in a different kind of mess anyway, maybe drenched from a bottle emptied on someone´s head, and finally things could get heated from the resulting tussle, and the bottom line is: Matteo is buying David a new sketchbook in Amsterdam.

Their last night in the city they´re able to change into a smaller bedroom at the hostel that´s just the two of them. 

They don´t fall asleep until the sun comes up. 

Too hungry for each other, they can´t seem to stop touching and riling each other up until their bodies make the decision for them. Only when both of them physically can´t go again they finally pass out a dizzy, hot, aching, exhausted, tangled mess, unsure where one begins and the other ends. The last thing David remembers before falling asleep is reaching out to touch Matteo´s face, his features loose and spent inches away from his own in the gray early morning light. Matteo´s eyes remain closed now, he´s quickly dropping off, the blush in his cheeks draining away, and David just wants a last touch. 

Always alert, always wary David can only assume he fell asleep before he could reach him.

When he wakes up it could be from Matteo being too hot and close on his back. From gentle lips between his shoulder blades, roaming, kissing. Skin, so much skin on his. He shudders. It´s all he can do to crane his head back and meet Matteo half-way.

They just make check-out.

During their stay they´ve also come across many colorful posters for Pride Festival starting on July 27. 

After they check out of the hostel, they lie in a park using their backpacks as pillows and David, on a hunch, checks the CSD Berlin date which turns out to be the same day as the start of Amsterdam pride.

He nudges Matteo with his foot. “Hey, when is Jonas´ birthday exactly?” Matteo, blinking awake from a nap, takes a moment to reply: “July 26”. 

“Huh.” David goes quiet again, clasping his hands behind his head. 

“What now?” Matteo grumbles and rolls over to poke David in the side where he knows full well he is ticklish. “Hey, stop that, I´m trying to relax here!” David protests. 

Matteo looks too sleepy for a tickle fight anyway and instead slides his hand across David´s stomach, happy to let it rest where it fits comfortably against David´s waist. His head sinks down onto David´s chest and he tucks his shoulder against David´s side.

When David speaks again a few minutes later, Matteo jolts awake comically, and David strokes his shoulder to apologize for waking him up. There´s a wet spot of drool on David´s T-shirt. Matteo apparently hasn´t caught David´s first words and inelegantly demands he repeat them with a sleep-rough “Huh? What?” 

“So, uhm,” David hems and hesitates, suddenly nervous to bring up the topic. “I´ve been thinking..,” he starts. “Hm,” Matteo has returned to stroking David´s stomach, maybe in an attempt to stay awake. 

Thing is, David thinks, it´s perfect like this. No time pressure on their journey, just the two of them, together, wherever they are. Freedom. But there´s this thought that´s been lodged in his mind for a day or so now. Ever since he spotted one of the banners for pride. 

Doesn´t hurt to ask his boyfriend what he thinks about it, he supposes. Since they´re boyfriends and all, and not heterosexual. The two of them. It´s a topic not-hetero boyfriends in their first summer together pre-pride could... discuss. 

He sighs. Get it together, man. This isn´t a big deal. Maybe Matteo doesn´t want to go, and that would be okay. Maybe they´ll be too tired anyway after their trip back, because who knows where they´ll sleep the night before they arrive, and then there´s Jonas birthday that could really mess them up, if Jonas celebrates his birthday, which, if they´re returning for him he better. 

David looks down to find Matteo staring up at him from heavy-lidded eyes. There´s an amused twist to his mouth as he props his head up on one hand and obviously waits for what David has to say. Oh great, now it´s become a Thing.

David reaches out and puts a hand over that face. “Oh, come here. Kiss.” 

Matteo grins and scoots up to lie on top of him. He immediately buries a hand in David´s hair and covers David´s mouth with his own. 

David briefly thinks about interrupting this before it goes any further to ask Matteo while he still has the courage and has sort of made the first step, but the kiss is too sweet and tempting, so he gives in to the longest, slowest, laziest press of soft lips that´s basically just Matteo letting gravity do the work for him. 

Gravity also makes it so convenient for David to open his mouth and let Matteo sink inside. 

Same with the rest of Matteo, who is fitting his body on top of his like David´s a particularly comfortable piece of furniture he tries to meld with, or a duvet to bury himself in. 

They couldn´t be lazier at this point, all heavy limbs and minimal movement and just trying to find the most comfortable position possible on top of each other, but last night´s lost sleep is a good enough excuse for that. 

Not that David regrets losing that particular night´s sleep. It was fucking worth it. 

He´s flashing back to the taste of Matteo´s skin on his tongue, frantic hands flying over heated flesh, fumbling while trying to pull each other even closer, their bodies moving together urgently in the semi-darkness of the room, Matteo´s breath on his ear making him shiver. 

His insides do a violent tumble, and he gasps.

“Remember those posters up everywhere for Amsterdam Gay Pride festival?” David pushes the question out quickly between them before he can change his mind. 

Matteo blinks at him slowly, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion. 

“Huh? But that´s only at the end of July, isn´t it?” David watches him and waits a few more seconds for any other reaction.

“Yeah, and Berlin CSD is on July 27th, too.” His voice has gone softer than he intended. Argh. Saying it out loud makes him unexpectedly emotional. He swallows, hoping maybe Matteo will get it anyway without the actual question. Although, he does actually want to ask his boyfriend that question.

Matteo´s eyes are searching his face, growing a bit wider, but he remains silent. “Uh,” David starts again just as Matteo squeaks out “Do you want to go to pride?”

David laughs, relief washing through him at hearing Matteo say it. 

“Maybe? I think I do? Do you want to go with me? Maybe?” David holds his breath. 

He wonders if his own eyes shine the same way Matteo´s pale blue ones quietly do at this moment. Because Matteo must be seeing something in him, maybe the same thing David is seeing in Matteo.

He´s still fascinated by this power they apparently have to light each other up like this.

Is that a sappy thing to think? It´s physically true, though. David´s looking at the proof right in front of his face. 

And that other thought, that idea, of going to pride with Matteo, in that cold harsh city he wanted to flee or at least be invisible in only a couple of months ago, dancing and proudly marching through its rough dirty streets that could trip you up at every turn, maybe wearing or waving some combination of colors -- what a thought that is, too. And how it doesn´t seem impossible at all. It goes hand in hand with this, whatever this is they´re doing to each other. The shining eyes thing. The tug at something behind his ribs that goes with it. That the-whole-world-falls-away-when-I-look-at-you thing. Like there are magnets hidden inside of them.

Matteo starts giggling hysterically and lets his head fall back onto David´s chest. 

The giggle turns into a groan, however, when he rolls off David and into the grass. 

He´s rubbing a hand over his face, hard. “We can´t tell Hans. Okay, maybe we can, we probably should, because he´s gonna kill us if we don´t, but… oh god. He´s never going to let me live this down.”

“What?” David has lost the plot. 

“Nothing, just. I was kind of a dick to him when I came out to him. He was the first person I really told, and... well, I said some stupid stuff, about pride, too. He´s gonna love this.” Matteo huffs out between his fingers. 

David is interested in all of these details, even though he also kind of doesn´t want to hear what dickish things Matteo had to say to Hans in the spur of the moment. 

Big vulnerable moments make for bad decisions and words you regret. He gets that. 

“So, does that mean you´re coming along?” David isn´t saying pride wouldn´t mean as much to him if Matteo didn´t go with him, but disappointment is circling just below the surface, even though the idea to go only came up a short while ago. 

What an emotional rollercoaster, this relationship thing is.

“Of course I´ll go if you want to go.” Matteo says in that soft tone of his, the one he used in the pool when he didn´t want to spook David, when he told him how cool he thought David was; when he wanted to show him gently and with his voice too that he wasn´t alone. 

He headbutts David´s shoulder. 

“Okay, cool,” David replies, allowing the smile that´s spreading on his face to warm the words. It´s like they´re back in his bed the morning after their first time together. 

He turns his head and reaches for Matteo´s jaw to bring their mouths together. 

“K. Cool.” Matteo affirms and closes his eyes again, a smile settling on his lips. 

They´re such a cliché together. Stupidly in love. 

David thinks he gets it now. No, he definitely knows.


End file.
